my hidden feelings

i hate SPORTS DAY
i hate BLUE HOUSE.
i hate THEM
but i have to pretend that i LIKE them

it has been quite a long time
but sometimes it just came to my mind
all the scenes
all the tears
......................all the HATRED

ANYONE ASKED ME IF I HATE THEM
MY ANSW WILL BE

......................................YES I HATE THEM VERY MUCH
SO MUCH


WELL
IF U CAN STAND THE HUMILIATION
FINE
I IMPRESSED YOU

BUT FOR ME
I'M SORRY
CUZ I DON HAVE THAT GENEROUS MIND OR GREAT CAPACITY FOR TOLERANCE

finally
i cried

the pain was more than i could bear

i was wondering
did i pretend that i like it?
did i pretend that i'm fine with it?

LENKA ........ woohoo XD

THE SHOW

LENKA

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze

and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go

Can't do it alone

I've tried

but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl

lost in the moment

I'm so scared but I don't show it

I can't figure it out

It's bringing me down

I know

I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

JUST ENJOY THE SHOW

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

I WANT MY MONEY BACK

JUST ENJOY THE SHOW

i'm angry

I'M REALLY ANGRY

VERY VERY ANGRY

i asked xy to buy the coupons
she refused
the reason is no money , mother doesnt allow , bla bla bla

i'm very angry
i dono y
others don buy i'm still okay with it
but when she refused to buy
i become so angry

........................still ANGRY-ing NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i SWEAR i wont go to genting with her
i swear!!!!!!!!!!

i'm fed up of asking pple to go here go there when i know the answ will be no
this time is my turn to say NO

don blame me =(

lenka

i was so obsessed with this song - 'the show' by lenka.

that morn i was singing this part of the song- ' i want my money back'
again and again
then sud my brother said ' 还钱啊 '
... cuz i still owe him 50 bucks..

whenever i sing that part of the song then he will say that =.=

i HATE you

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I love you

so called 名句精华 X)

I learnt this n i like this

the original one :
你是高人，耍的是高招；我是草包，耍的是草招

i changed it to
我是高人，耍的是高招；你是猪八戒，耍的是猪招

X)

PERJANJIAN PERKAHWINAN 2009

I MISSED SCHOOL FOR 3 CONTINUOUS DAYS.. that's wat SOMEBODY said.. =.=
where got 3 continuous days..
friday then monday then tues..
friday is not counted kay..
there's sat n sun in between.. =.=

TODAY i finally attend school..
n i brought 2masks to school
1 for fren n 1 for me
we din really wear it until pn che lian's lesson
we wore that thing bcuz we wanted to chat "in the mask" so that the tcher wouldnt know we were talking
=.=
as if.........
the tcher is not stupid kay..
and this fren of mine (engyi) pulled up the mask so that the mask cover her eyes n she could sleep
it's a good idea
unfortunately my specs din allow me to do that
=.=

later
during mr lye's class the 3 of us (engyi xinyi and me)
started this perjanjian game =.=
(i'm the victim and i'm innocent)
(and i need to say sry to my future bf cuz we cannot have sex n we cnt marry)

i forgot what led us to this situation
engyi and me were talking at first
then we started to argue (friendly argue^^) like usual..

i hate it when she dares me
i hate it when she looks at me with the head highly lifted and her stupid big eyes
then she will go 'herr heRR HERR'
there's always a trace of sarcasm in her voice

hate it .hate iT .hate IT .hatE IT. haTE IT. hATE IT. HATE ITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

anyway back to the topic..

after some heated argument a decision was finally taken.

'LET'S HAVE A PERJANJIAN', that's what engyi suggested.
okay fine. u can do whatever u like cuz i know it's just a childish game between ourselves.

finally we agreed to have a PERJANJIAN PERKAHWINAN 2009
the contents are as below:
NG WENJIE (means me)
CANNOT MARRY
CANNOT DIVORCE(rubbish,cnt marry how 2 divorce=.=)
CANNOT HAVE A BABY
CANNOT HAVE SEX(it's illegal for christians to have sex b4 married)

if i break the rules i will have to give them a treat to europe n bla bla bla..

...luckily they din say CANNOT KISS.. X)
i know they just 4get
if they rmb they will write it down as well
luckily i din mention this when they were writing the perjanjian.................................

and now this perjanjian is safely kept in my house
which will have 99% that i will lost it within 2 days ^^

nvm
at least we enjoyed the process
......
i think it's better to say
AT LEAST BOTH OF THEM ENJOYED THE PROCESS...................................

28.6.09

MEMORIES THAT REMAIN

21 june

21.june

STARWALK !!!!!!!!!!! XD

17.06.09...11pm

i try to let the matter drop..
...........................as if..
life would be much better without all these COMPLICATED
REPUGNANT feelings

i've been showing an ambivalent attitude towards somebody..
my goodness..
when will i really understand the meaning of LETTING GO!!!!!!


WHAT DO FRIENDS REALLY MEAN??
the dictionary states that FRIENDS ARE PEOPLE WHO ONE KNOWS AND LIKES,
A HELPER AND A SUPPORTER
FRIENDS.......... URGH....

17.06.09 ...8pm

i've been feeling so lonely all this while..
nobody ever notice that..
nobody even seem to care..
i've been finding someone to replace the emptyness
i'm tired








i don't want to be disdain..
i don't want to live on another's favour..
i don't want others to look down on me..

i cannot lose...

17.6.09...6pm

You all have been hurting me all the while



did you EVER notice that???????

5.6.2009

There's a new 'him'..
i call him 'eye lashes' cuz he really has very nice and long eye lashes..
i talked to 'him' today..
'he's' very shy... >.<

MY NOUGHTS AND CROSSES..

ANYONE CAN HELP ME TO CHANGE THE SAD ONE TO A SMILEY ONE?

omg.. i'm obsessed with swiss rolls.. !!!

i hate it when there's still a plce for him

1.6.09 MY WORST DAY OF ALL

i supposed to have my english tuition tomorrow but tomorrow i want to go somewhere else , so i went for today's lesson..
i heard that he is there too..
someone made me believe that he had gone to kl for some competition..
well..
since he's not there.. of course i feel safe to go..
UNFORTUNATERLY.........
when the lesson had started for 5 minutes..
someone that looked exactly like him walked into the class..
okay.. it is him!!
omg.....
what should i do..
the first thing i could think of was to use the file to cover my face..
i think he didnt notice me at first..
he really didnt notice me at all..
i dono what happened that day..
the teacher, who never called me to read in class, asked me to read the 2nd paragraph..
obviously he knew i was there after the teacher called me..
honestly.. i hate the teacher..
when the teacher called me.. i kept quiet for a few seconds.. i didnt know what to do!!
then the teacher called me again..
i read.. with my tiniest voice..
did i hear him laugh when i was reading??
i'm not sure..
i just had the feeling to hit him hard on the head..
later.. the teacher asked him to anwser the question..
well
now i'm 100% sure it was exactly him..
before the teacher called his name..
i prayed that was not him..
maybe just someone who looked like him.
but when the teacher called him.. my hopes were smashed.. it was him..

you cant understand the feeling unless you passed through something like me..

i wonder what he was thinking when he knew it was me..
i wonder what he felt when he knew it was me..
did he have the same feeling like me too?
i bet he didnt feel anything AT ALL..
i know he was emotionless and he is still emotionless..

when the class ended.. i wanted to wait until everyone was out only i walked out..
but my 'dear' friend couldnt wait..
and he, WAS STILL CHATTING WITH HIS FRIENDS IN HIS SEAT..
(he sat 2 chairs away from me.. there's a guy between us-LUCKILY)

my fren was rushing me to go out..
okay!!
fine!!
i had to walk the smaller and narrower way to go out , so that i wouldnt pass in front of him..
UNFORTUNATELY..
when i stood up,, he stood up also..
wat is his problem!!
either he went out before me or after me..
but now.. we had to go out TOGETHER!!
urgh!!
i don want.. T_________T

i quickly stood up and rushed to the door..
i had to go out before him!!
and my fren was blocking the way!!
i was so panicked that i pushed her away..
i feel very sorry to her..
really..
i heard the teacher said "why is she in a hurry?"

my fren didnt help me either..
she said i acted like a mouse!!
i think it was very obvious that i was avoiding him..

wat can i do??
i was so panicked
so scared
so nervous
i don want to let him see me
i dono why..

1.6.09

a week had passsed.
i know it sounds stupid.. but i'm still waiting for his msg..
but..
unfortunately..
he didnt send any msg..
somebody told me he doenst have a hp now..
was that considered as a consolation?
i cannot console myself with that thought..
last year he used someone else's hp to send me a msg..just to wish me..

i feel sorry for being so greedy..
i didnt appreciate and i want it back now..
i'm stupid..
is it so hard to forget him?
time doesnt seem to do much help on this.

27.5.09 TODAY'S MY BD

Today's my birthday.. i was waiting for his msg..i thought he would wish me birthday.. at least he did last year.. i was so confident.. i was so sure that he would wish me..i waited.. no msg from him..5 more minutes left.. i was still waiting.. finally.. 12am.. 28.5.09..he still didnt send me any msg or wishes..

i'm disappointed.. i'm very sad..
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
he didnt wish me
i wonder why?
had he forgotten?

bring me somewhere else that i cant see him anymore

this's for me =)

teh..this's for you

20.2.09

i love friday.

2day i supposed to have my last day of english tt.
when i reached there ,the door was locked.
mummy went away ard n i din bring my hp along.
i stood outside the door n called for the tcher.
no answer.
i called n called but still no1 heard me.
after waiting for half an hour the tcher finally heard me.
she said 2day's class was cancelled.
she said she rang up my fon but no1 answered
plz la
i was at schol
how was i supposed to answer ur fon call
fine
she let me fon my mom n bla bla bla..


omg..
i still owe bm tcher 10 dollars

19。2。09

我还是很伤心啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊。

18。2。09

为什么人会走到床上睡觉呢
因为床不会自己走过来

17。2。09

还是很伤心

16.2.09

我很失望

14。2。09

我很伤心。

我很失望

14.2.09

今天三点放学。然后和陈去吃sushi。
ip 好多人。然后四点去ms pon 。
八点半才放学。九点回到家。
冲凉吃饭到来九点半。然后太累了。十点就睡了。

我今年的情人节就这样过了。